Change -K semantics: timeout *during handshake*, not afterwards

 - the TLS tunnel itself should be transparent so it has no business
shutting down the connection no matter how long the app takes
 - there's still an undetectable situation on some kernels where
EOF doesn't get transmitted from the network, and the engine is in
the handshake, and it can't do anything but wait forever. A timeout
is useful here: dawg, your peer is never going to send any more data,
you should just give up.
 - if the situation happens after the handshake, the *app* should
have a timeout and die. The tunnel will follow suit.
 - libtls has a blocking tls_handshake() blackbox, we cannot give it
a timeout. Too bad, use bearssl.

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